Disclosing Biblical marriage views

[Off-Grid Artist]

At what point do the actual practicing polygynists here begin to disclose to new people your views on Biblical marriage?

Whether that be social circles, potential new sisterwifes, old friends... no boundaries on the scope of the question. I'm coming to realize that the last two dramas my family has experienced were both large social expulsions, and in either case our beliefs were kept to ourselves to varying degrees. (Technically the first "high school drama" was based on an attempt to be very forward about the situation, but that backfired greatly due to withdrawn communication - that isn't relevant to the question).

It doesn't seem like a big deal to me. This is just normal life and a part of life. I don't know why everyone keeps freaking out. I spent years immersed in lesbian culture when I was in my worldly lost years in rebellion, and there was never any drama like I've experienced with all the religious people. I feel like my wife and I are coming out as queer or something, it's really wild. But the men who Yahweh considered most holy to him thought like this too. Do I need to make a series of tee shirts which say "I'm with Abraham" or something just so people can cross the road when they see me?

 

[Joleneakamama]

At what point do the actual practicing polygynists here begin to disclose to new people your views on Biblical marriage?

I started talking about it 25 years ago and to practically everyone. I found out fast it wasn't popular, but if it's true then Christians who claim to love the one who said "The truth will make you free" should want to know. Right?

ROFL at how little I understood how much Christians rely on their "feelings" rather than the written word.

Now days we treat the topic more like a sifter. It separates the sincere from the superficial. If someone will be honest about this subject and not twist or ignore scripture to avoid acceptance of polygyny, then imho they can be said to fear YHWH.

It says of women that
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."
Prov. 31:30

 

[steve]

We stay prayerful about it.
Certain business interests of ours don’t need to be blown out of the water by forcing truths on people that can’t handle them.
Other people we are able to share with early on.
Quite frankly, people are often more open to accepting true offenses (males laying with males) than they are about actual Biblical truths.

 

[MemeFan]

I think reason you are having issues is because you doing polygyny preaching.

What would you want to speak about polygyny with everybody? Try some light teasing and if other side isn't interested drop it.

Are you married? I sense you are trying to become part of package deal for marriage?

 

[frederick]

If a person doesn't need to know, or the information isn't relevant to a conversation, I don't tell. Our personal lives are personal.

 

[Off-Grid Artist]

Try some light teasing and if other side isn't interested drop it.

Are you married? I sense you are trying to become part of package deal for marriage?

Good advice. I think one of our good friends who just turned on us in a big way did so because I continued to poke the bear. That has always been part of our relationship dynamic though. We've been going back and forth about polygyny for four years.

Yes, I am married to my wife of eight years of being in a relationship together. She's a gem. We have a wonderfully balanced marriage.

 

[MemeFan]

Good advice. I think one of our good friends who just turned on us in a big way did so because I continued to poke the bear. That has always been part of our relationship dynamic though. We've been going back and forth about polygyny for four years.

You got what you deserved.

 

[Off-Grid Artist]

You got what you deserved.

You might be right. I'm very conservative and had a long period of life out in the world. I'm not easily embarrassed or ashamed. To me, there is nothing taboo to discuss between mature adults, especially friends. There's nothing in the Bible to be embarrassed about.

My wife and I were pretty close friends with her. We attended Bible studies there with her family and other friends for years. Polygyny came up in conversation fairly regularly, me and her father would unite over it from across the table "hey, yeah, that's right!" while all the feminist women clutched their pearls. We were both doing it from time to time, not every Bible study but if it came up naturally in the reading.

My wife is very tradwife and conservative. She would bring up topics about patriarchy and submission to a headship fairly often. That's actually the conversation which lead to a lot of this problem in regard to this particular person.

The women in that family are all exceedingly feminist. They generally tend towards misandry, the men are usually either pretty downtrodden or the women are single and embittered. It's just part of my personality to try and get them to loosen up through teasing them. Their feminist mom loves me and even moreso every time I tease her about it. Their grandma would laugh and ask me how many wives I was going to take, and I'd just ask her how many does she think I need? It was very lighthearted.

But, she's already going through stuff and I probably fell into old habits too readily. Also I think the reality that we are becoming more serious about this and that it's not just all a big joke anymore probably was a major difference. We weren't really trying to publicly "come out of the closet" on it, but effectively that's what the last six weeks has started to become. It's why I started this thread.

 

[steve]

You got what you deserved.

Nah, he might possibly have been too persistent, but he didn’t deserve that treatment.
The enemy doesn’t play fair.

 

[MemeFan]

Nah, he might possibly have been too persistent, but he didn’t deserve that treatment.
The enemy doesn’t play fair.

Sometimes it's just stupidity, not Satan.

 

[steve]

Sometimes it's just stupidity, not Satan.

Or some of each.
Why does it seem like you want to shift the blame to him?
Do you believe that our enemy has no dog in this fight?

Btw: this thread was specifically directed to people who are living the life.
How they handle sharing the truth.
Your opinion about who is to blame for his experience is totally not needed here.

 

[Joleneakamama]

Why does it seem like you want to shift the blame to him?

Who look any further than what YHWH says and does?

2 Thes. 2:11-12
And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

They LIKE being self righteous unjust judges of those His Word does NOT condemn? THAT sounds like having pleasure in unrighteousness to me!

 

[steve]

Who look any further than what YHWH says and does?

2 Thes. 2:11-12
And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

They LIKE being self righteous unjust judges of those His Word does NOT condemn? THAT sounds like having pleasure in unrighteousness to me!

I’m not sure that we are referring to the same problem.
To me, @MemeFan seems to be blaming OGA.
I wanted to use @MemeFan’s initials, but MF just didn’t seem right.

 

[Off-Grid Artist]

My primary focus is to ask those living the Biblical marriage life how they disclose to people what their family life looks like, or how they disclose the situation to a potential new sister.

I've always been good at building relationships with women. The difference is the stigma attached to being a married man who is talking to women other than his wife. People view this as wrong, but you can't get from here to there without that step.

I don't mind if someone calls me stupid. Maybe I need to hear that. A good friend will tell me when I'm acting a fool. My emotions don't matter.

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

My primary focus is to ask those living the Biblical marriage life how they disclose to people what their family life looks like, or how they disclose the situation to a potential new sister.

I've always been good at building relationships with women. The difference is the stigma attached to being a married man who is talking to women other than his wife. People view this as wrong, but you can't get from here to there without that step.

I don't mind if someone calls me stupid. Maybe I need to hear that. A good friend will tell me when I'm acting a fool. My emotions don't matter.

okay... I can speak firsthand to how hard it is to bridge the gap in someone else's bible knowledge to the truth. Few young female Christians are deeply studying their bibles. Many read everyday but engage in the fun/encouraging passages and ignore the weightier scriptures that they are told no longer apply to them. This is true for many male Christians as well but you are not interested in them. lol

I had far more success in talking to a Muslim girl and during teaching her about the truth of the word of God, she began to understand where I was coming from biblically on this topic as well.

She was one I held hopes for for awhile but, alas, it was not to be. She came to understand it biblically but was raised on Disney movies and wanted the princess story for herself. I moved on...

But, bible studies are one way to walk through this theoretically first and then practically later...

There may be many missed chances along the way... It comes with the territory. Don't let it get to you...

 

[MemeFan]

I’m not sure that we are referring to the same problem.
To me, @MemeFan seems to be blaming OGA.
I wanted to use @MemeFan’s initials, but MF just didn’t seem right.

I'm not blaiming him. I'm just describing situation as I see it. Nobody gets excommunicated just by "I saw men in Old Testament had multiple wives? What do you think?"

Must be something else. Besides you haven't noticed him saying following: (bolded is mine)

I spent years immersed in lesbian culture when I was in my worldly lost years in rebellion,

What kind of person spends years in "lesbian culture"?

 

[Off-Grid Artist]

What kind of person spends years in "lesbian culture"?

That's a fair question.

When I was a young man I was very alone. There were a lot of problems in my life and I was in rebellion against God. I was drawn to the drunken debaucherous lifestyle of all the drunk lesbian girls and was their straight male whatever-it-was for probably at least a solid three years. It was a hot mess. Some of the worst relationships of my entire life came from that time period.

 

[HomesteadWife]

I'm not blaiming him. I'm just describing situation as I see it. Nobody gets excommunicated just by "I saw men in Old Testament had multiple wives? What do you think?"

For mainstream and most christian people they equate any talk of polygyny with either FLDS Morman or Muslim. There is an instant connection between the multiple wives topic and hide your young daughters pearl clutching. Its not just a simple "I believe multiple wives is not a sin." The feminist based culture has to demonize any concept connected to biblical patriarchy and push the "all men are pigs" who want to groom and exploit impressionable young women. It becomes an emotionally manipulating narrative rather than a logical biblical based topic.

 

[frederick]

For mainstream and most christian people they equate any talk of polygyny with either FLDS Morman or Muslim.

Personally, I've encountered that multiple times. The assumption is I'm a muslim and it's not a problem. The moment I say I'm a Christian and deny being muslim, it's custard. I'm committing adultery and leading my wives astray.

It becomes an emotionally manipulating narrative rather than a logical biblical based topic.

Exactly. It doesn't matter what the Word of God says, it's all emotions.

 

[steve]

Nobody gets excommunicated just by "I saw men in Old Testament had multiple wives? What do you think?"

You don’t know what you are talking about.
Many of us, myself included, have been excommunicated for simply believing in polygyny.
The belief itself is considered dangerous.
A man who has any conversations about it might spread the idea to others and it could get out of control. They fear that.